It can be difficult to not become defensive at the stage when I’m excited about a new relationship. ” (yes—of course) or “Doesn’t this song sound like an 80’s song? This just wouldn’t be an issue with someone who wasn’t enrolling in college as I was entering pre-school. While I always thought it was a tragically early passing, it now terrifies me. If the relationship had lasted into marriage, we probably would have waited a few years before starting a family. It’s easier to mold plans with someone who hasn’t had as many experiences and is therefore more open to new ones. I’m already inexperienced in the physical arena for someone my age. A lot of 20-somethings (and 30-somethings) don’t want to settle into a long-term relationship because they always have a gnawing feeling that there’s someone better around the corner. Naturally, they can have a really different perspective on things because of the sheer number of years they’ve been alive.
Cole eats healthier than me and is in great shape (good influence on me! While it hasn’t been brought up specific to our situation, Cole has mentioned wanting to start a family and I’m fairly certain he would not be okay with a two-year relationship one-year engagement a few years before having kids. On the other hand, it's nice that they know what they like. It’s not that he didn’t go through these stages—it was just 10 to 15 years ago. It can be really helpful when Cole shares this perspective with me. They can actually communicate their feelings and carry on a conversation.
He does it without expectations, complains or a desire for validation. This, again, is likely because he has been living longer, has had more experiences and has learned from them.
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have ranged from being unfazed to naming other couples they know with big age differences (I guess to reassure themselves? My mom is only two years older than him” and “He could biologically be your father” (thanks for that imagery…). After going on dates with a barrage of indecisive and ambivalent guys (and being in a relationship with one for two years), this was incredibly refreshing (see #9: If you're the one asking, then you should be the one planning the date). He’s not in the “finding himself” stage, living with mom and unable to decide on a career path.
I agree it would be weird to date someone who is close to my parents’ age or who has kids close to my age, but neither Cole nor my parents were candidates for 16 & Pregnant. Here and there Cole says something like “Have you heard of the movie When Harry Met Sally? Every so often you’ll hear about someone passing away in their 40’s or early 50’s. Kids were definitely brought up, but in the hypothetical, years-from-now sense. He’s past being the “aspiring” musician who is still waiting tables and hasn’t done a paid gig in two years.
Here are 10 things you’ll only understand if you’re dating a younger guy: You realize that most people think that age equals maturity. Just because I’m a girl I can’t date someone younger than me?
When they find out my boyfriend is younger, one of the first things people ask me is if he’s immature. I obviously don’t think he’s immature if I’m dating him. People I barely know are always asking me, “But aren’t you worried about you guys not being on the same page? You’ll get used to those moments of realizing your childhoods were just a little different.
If I want to or have to have a "talk" with my partner, he doesn't dodge or flinch at the prospect of a serious conversation. If I need time to myself, he doesn't have a panic attack or yell at me for not spending all of my time with him.